Stop right here. If you don’t know what “manhood” means, you’re not old enough to continue reading. This game was played by adults, with adult actions and conversations. You’ve been warned.

Searching for Yeowin’s abode

Previously, we freed a goblin prisoner from the clutches of orcs. The knight gained a special item, Necklace of Dicks (abbreviated as NoD, see part 2), properties unknown as yet. So the goblin hexer gave some information on Yeowin, a druid who went renegade. Apparently, Yeowin didn’t follow standard druidic doctrines and worshipped Melora (a traveller and nature goddess I think). The trail for the dwarven seal led to this renegade druid…

The hexer led us to where Yeowin was supposed to live, but on the way, 6 grey wolves and a dire wolf attacked us. Taking his cue from the knight, the dwarven slayer intimidated a grey wolf and then tried to slam… something to the rear end of the wolf. Failed.

The knight did a backflip somersault, took off his NoD and flung it to the centre of the wolves to attract their attention. Failed. (“Smelly!” cried the DM) But he managed to whack at a wolf. I finally killed the dire wolf (which was in dire health by then) to smithereens with a Magic Missile.

After the fight, the knight took his NoD, took each of the penises (16 of them) and begun shoving them up the dire wolf’s rear end. He wanted to make it seem like the orcs tried to have an orgy with the dire wolf and got their orchoods lopped off.

Stunned, our DM had to make a quick adjustment. Yeowin suddenly appeared at the scene just before the knight could start his diabolical shoving scheme. “What are you doing?” asked Yeowin. “Uh, nothing.” said the knight, still holding an orc penis in each hand. The knight then strung back all the penises. After he was done, Yeowin said, “This way”, with an arched eyebrow at the knight. Before us was a swirling mass of light, sea green and deep blue, sparkling lines and dots revolving slowly. In the centre of the light display, was a stone fragment. The dwarven seal.

Skill challenge: We were to persuade Yeowin to let us have the seal.

I got us the first success (with the Lore skill. See part 1 for the houseruled skills). I got the image of familiarity, of memories of beach house and thunder and lightning. Oh boy, this is not good. Then I tried to cast Instant Friends on Yeowin. Unfortunately, I failed. Dang. My DM wanted to find out what would happen if Yeowin was “forced” to cooperate too.

Then came the second success. It turns out that the seal actually held a primordial. Then the DM turned to me and imitating a phenomenally ancient voice, said “I want to be one with you.” Wait, what? The primordial is talking to Trake? I think the primordial is Surusha, the Black Vortex, Lord of Undines. Apparently, in the Dawn Wars, Melora fought with 4 elemental princes. This Surusha appears to be one of those princes. (I’m pretty sure I got the spelling of the name wrong. But Surusha’s cool with that, right?)

Third success. Yeowin told us there were other wards on holding the primordial, but they’ve all weakened to the point of uselessness. The dwarven seal was all that held the primordial at bay.

Then Trake, on some inexplicably strong impulse (powered by the DM), strode forward and just grabbed the seal. It broke the trapping on the primordial, but Trake felt the presence of the primordial settling in his mind. Trake had become a living prison for the primordial.

[Trake gained Aspect: Prison of Primordial]

Well, at least we have the dwarven seal now. The stormpriest was joking that if all else failed in combat, just whack the wizard to release the primordial. We’d all die horribly, but the enemies would be dead too.

Till next adventure…

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Dwarven city seal – part 3

Stop right here. If you don’t know what “manhood” means, you’re not old enough to continue reading. This game was played by adults, with adult actions and conversations. You’ve been warned.

Getting back to Fallcrest

So we just killed the black dragon. The 2 priests were tapped out on healing. The thief and 2 slayers were covered in blood (mostly theirs). The knight stood there catching his breath, still holding his sword, which was covered in faecal matter (you’ll have to read part 1 to know why). Trake was this close to dying, and was contemplating climbing a tree and shooting Magic Missiles from far, far away.

We managed to reach Fallcrest without further incidents. After a full day’s rest, we headed out into the town to find out more about the dwarven seal. Trake went to the local library to check (passed the History/Lore check. Read part 1 for our house-ruled skill challenges). The others asked locals for information. It turns out there’s a feud between orcs and goblins in the forest (Harken?) south of Fallcrest.

Well, the DM didn’t introduce that for nothing, so we went to investigate the forest. Just a little deeper into the forest, we found a war party of orcs, carrying a goblin prisoner. Before we could do anything, the stormpriest jumped into the fray and did his weird dance. Start of combat initiative. The stormpriest looked just a little sheepish.

The orc war party

There were 3 groups of orcs: archers, soldiers and minions. The archers went first, and man, they did tons of damage on us. “Are we really that clustered together?” asked the sunpriest. I don’t blame the sunpriest for asking, and Modeus for ruling it that way. When the players don’t say anything, the DM’s allowed to assume anything. I should’ve said Trake was trailing at the back of the party. Like far, far away at the back of the party.

The thief tumbled his way past orc soldiers and minions to reach the archers. The sunpriest followed suit, and moved towards the goblin prisoner, who was held by the archers. I didn’t even think to free the goblin prisoner. It’s rare that any character that’s not us, wasn’t an enemy. So I assumed the prisoner was either out of the battle, or going to attack us. Habit of playing with this group.

The knight somersaulted and did his “Dragonfly Dips Water” skill, flying through the air and landing right in the middle of the orc soldiers and minions. Keeping every orc’s attention on him, he chopped at one of the soldiers.

There was a total of 16 orcs. The wizard’s supposed to do something, right? Well, Trake’s useless at taking out mobs. But he did have something up his sleeve. Moving away from the main party, Trake hummed a short tune and released the sleep spell. Half the soldiers and minions went unconscious. Alright!

Spotting one of the still conscious orc soldiers, the dwarven slayer charged up to the soldier and shouted, “You want a piece of me, huh? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?” Well, I forgot what the slayer did (too traumatising. To the orc and me). But you do not want my friend bearing down on you. So he intimidated the orc and bashed him on the head.

The sunpriest freed the goblin prisoner, and got ourselves a much needed ally. Trake hypnotised an archer to shoot a soldier. The stormpriest did his weird dance and smote a soldier orc. Modeus gave control of the goblin to the sunpriest player. Our goblin turned out to be a hexer, and could attack orcs from afar and reduce their attack hit rate. That turned out to be a blessing (ironic, a hexer “blessing” us…), since Trake ran out of options to control crowds.

The fight was over, and the stormpriest announced he would systematically go to each orc and loot it. The knight, on the other hand, announced he would systematically chop off each orc’s manhood. Or is it orchood? Then he strung all 16 phalli into a necklace. The knight called it his Necklace of Dicks (or NoD for short). My friend even drew me a picture (in the spirit of Gnarly the Pantless Dwarf).

“Vince, you have to put it on the blog!” he said. I sighed in resignation…

Up next, you’ll find out why the uh, penis of a Dire Wolf was there too…

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Dwarven city seal – part 2

Now for whatever reason, my friends started doing more and more outrageous stuff. When I asked them about it, they said it’s all my fault, because I gave them freedom in my Lone Wolf games (1st session, 2nd session). At one point in the current session, in the midst of yet another outrageous stunt, Modeus (the DM) told me that if I’m willing to write it in the blog, he’ll rule the stunts. Let’s just say the age restriction for reading this blog has been raised. You’ve been warned, but you’re gonna read on anyway, aren’t you?

Consolidated skill checks

Modeus wanted to try a new skill check system. I probably remembered it wrongly, but I’ll try my best. There will be only 4 major skills: Stunt, Lore, Sense, Interaction. “Stunt” is based on Strength, Constitution and Dexterity. “Lore” is based on Intelligence. “Sense” is based on Wisdom. “Interaction” is based on Charisma.

For every trained skill you have in an ability, you get a plus for the corresponding major skill. For example, if you’re trained in Arcana and History (2 Intelligence based skills), you get a +2 to “Lore”.

The final skill score you have is (1/2 your level) + (number of trained skills) + (appropriate ability modifier). So Trake, my level 2 Wizard with 18 Intelligence, will have 1 (half of level 2) + 2 (Arcana and History) + 4 (Intelligence modifier) = +7

Basically, you make an “attack roll” for the stunt/move/action you’re taking, adding the appropriate bonus (say, +7 whenever Trake’s trying anything intelligent, such as solving the Rubik’s cube), and match against the DM’s difficulty check. This means you can get a critical hit (or failure. I’m notoriously known for my 1′s on d20′s), but you do get to roll twice. If you hit, there’s a straightforward 2d6 damage (plus appropriate skill modifier) to whatever the DM’s trying to do.

I probably got that wrong, so I’ll let you know when Modeus comes up with a formal writeup.

Helm’s Seal

So at the end of the last session, we stood in the middle of a smallish cave after defeating a mutant white dragon. We delved deeper and found our way blocked by a sealed entrance. The seal had been removed. Which I’m a bit confused with when I sat down to write this. If the seal’s removed, the way should be clear, right? Our sunpriest (Helm Sunhammer) stood there looking wistfully into the beyond, so close to the city that’s his (I believe the city’s name was Helm) yet unable to reach it. We decided to go back to Fallcrest to find out more about this missing seal.

On the way back, we got waylaid by… wait for it… 3 giant spiders. It was a moderately tough fight. Trake conjured giant dragonflies to descend on the spiders, frightening them into a dazed state. He was inspired by the dragonfly thingie on the knight’s helmet. (Our knight is now known as the dragonfly knight. Read this for the recurring dragonfly theme).

The spiders were killed, and I thought that was a good warm-up to the game. Then Modeus told us, “It’s not over! Suddenly, you see this black dragon fly out of the bushes and then swoop in on you!”. We were to continue the encounter but with fresh initiative. Oh this was not good.

I tried a new move since Trake used his encounter spell on the spiders, and his daily spell will just make everyone go into a coma. So Trake teleported to the head of the dragon and tried to cover its eyes (Trake’s an Eladrin). I was hoping to blind it or disable some of its abilities or something. I failed, rolling poorly for my “Stunt” skill. Trake teleported to the dragon’s head, but couldn’t grab hold of the head and fell to the ground.

Seeing that as an opening for weird stunts, the dragonfly knight bounced and tumbled his way around the dragon to shove his sword up its arse. (I’m so gonna regret using that word…) The knight rolled a critical for his “Stunt” move, and did maximum damage to the dragon’s… uh, rear end. The dragon roared in fury as the knight wiggled his sword in its colon.

With the business end of the knight’s tool in its bowels, the dragon breathed a smoky haze upon the party, casting shrouds of gloom on all of us. This made us vulnerable to acid until we could shake it off. As part of this action, from that point on, whenever the dragon’s attacked, it will spill acid on anyone nearby.

The stormpriest started doing a weird dance, waving his hands in the air and moving to a tune that only he knew. Then he went over to the thief and healed him. Then the stormpriest attacked the dragon, doing moderate damage. And spilled acid on anyone close by. The thief barely survived the acid spill, but the stormpriest died from the acidic backlash.

Let’s have a moment of silence to honour the courage shown by the stormpriest.

Trake ran the heck away from the dragon because he only had 3 hit points left. I wanted to double move, and use an action point to shake off the shroud, but Modeus said one move should make Trake far enough from the toxic carnage. I thought the image of the wizard hitching his robes up and running for dear life was particularly amusing. In my mind anyway.

So the knight slid his sword out from the dragon’s rear end, and then did his tumbling trick to move forward and strike at the dragon’s eyes, hoping to fling its faeces on itself. He failed the “Stunt” roll, but managed to strike anyway. Mechanically in D&D rules, the knight didn’t have to move at all to strike. But if he passed the “Stunt” roll, the DM might add on effects or grant bonuses. I’m guessing Modeus might rule that the dragon be blinded or gets a penalty to attack or something.

The acid vulnerability from the shrouds of gloom combined with the automatic acid spills from the dragon were potent. We finally managed to take down the dragon. It turned out that the dragon was after the spiders for food. When we killed the spiders, the dragon went after us instead.

“But the spiders are still there!” said the sunpriest.
“There’s food for you!” said the dwarven slayer.

Well, the dragon thought humanoids tasted better. It apparently hasn’t met our dragon(fly) knight.

Up next, a necklace of dicks. Don’t ask, just let me gather my wits first…

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Dwarven city seal – part 1

So we’re at an inn. The knight then described his appearance. He had a dragonfly on his helm, to signify his special skill “QING TING DIAN SHUI!”. My friend had decided that regardless of which campaign, which universe, which storyline, he will play a character with a propensity for barmaids and a special skill called “Qing Ting Dian Shui”. Doesn’t matter if it’s Lone Wolf or D&D.

The dwarf that hired us (I’ll just call him Boltac) was talking with another dwarf. They looked serious. None of us thought to try and eavesdrop. That’s because the knight asked if the barmaid serving him will provide… “special” services. Well, that barmaid refused, but she did say her colleague might be amenable to his suggestion. So suddenly a second barmaid appeared, who went with the knight into another part of the inn. The knight wanted to do, uh, her, right there in the middle of the inn. But Modeus said there were town guards around. The knight’s urge wasn’t that strong to fight half a dozen town guards just to release tension.

By the time the knight was, uh, done, Boltac and his companion were done talking too. Boltac said there appeared to be kobolds running around. I didn’t quite catch the reason, but basically the kobolds were disrupting trade, and Boltac wanted us to find out the root cause.

The kobolds came from the general vicinity of the marshes. I saw there were some interesting lands above the marshes. “Let’s go there!” I said. “Uh, lightning strikes and you cannot proceed!” said Modeus.

Well, we talked to the locals, but no one would lead us to the exact location where the kobolds were coming from. We did find out there were 3 cave entrances. The stormpriest went to get a map of the local region. Smart. We asked which of the 3 caves seemed to have more traffic, and went to investigate that one.

At that cave, before we could enter, a swarm of kobolds rushed out and started attacking us. But they were unskilled. Their bearing spoke of commoner folk. Well, I was slow of initiative, so I saw that my companions chopping down these kobolds didn’t seem to work well. They were like hydras. You chop one down, and another two appear. I backed up from my kobold (everyone had a personal kobold to fight. Modeus made sure of that), hid my staff, and held out my hands in a non-threatening manner (I don’t speak Draconic). Success on my Diplomacy roll! And 1 success marked down by Modeus.

We realised mowing down kobold grass wasn’t the answer, so the others started more peaceful gestures (except the knight, who’s as violent as ever). The others also entered the cave itself. The stormpriest started to bludgeon the supporting structure of the cave entrance. It weakened. Then he collapsed the entrance. Trake managed to sneak in with the others before the collapse. I believe the stormpriest was actually stunned that the DM allowed him to collapse the entrance. Now he’s separated from the party.

We went deeper into the cave, and there were dwarven runes everywhere. “At least they still have their mushrooms.” said the dwarven sunpriest. Wait, that sounds familiar…

Meanwhile, the stormpriest went to another one of those caves which was nearer. The one we were at was made by humans, and so was destructible. The stormpriest stood before a cave entrance built by dwarves. Collapsing the cave entrance? Ain’t hordly likely. He went down that cave.

Switching back to the main party, we found 2 animated human corpses. And a giant globule of rotting kobold flesh slapped onto each other, which now turned its attention to meat higher up on the food chain. Us. Well, we now know why the kobolds were fleeing. The stormpriest appeared in the same room too (via the second cave), but he bade his time while the rest of us fought the rotting trio.

I tried my Hypnosis spell on the giant corpse. “You like eating rotten human flesh…” I did a hand-wavy thing, and rolled… It worked! I got the giant to smash at the more seriously injured human corpse. It did huge amounts of damage. Awesome.

The stormpriest saw his chance and leapt into the fray. He did critical damage. The giant corpse was also susceptible to critical damage, and would die immediately when it happened. Thus was destroyed the more dangerous opponent. The human corpses needed one more post-mortem attack before they’re truly “dead”. With that done, and the party reunited, we descended further…

In the middle of a small chamber, there was a white dragon. Modeus started telling the sunpriest some story background that I can’t understand (because I don’t read D&D lore). The sunpriest’s Aspect got activated (he’s descended from celestial origins). My friend playing the sunpriest also started spouting virtuous sentences about how mighty we are and how we’ll crush the miserable excuse of a lizard that dragon was. Somewhere, he roleplayed that as the sunpriest spoke, there was a deeper voice joining him as he made his proclamations.

On a whim, I used my deepest voice and joined him. Whatever he said, I said too, though a split second late. It was as close to a simultaneous speech as I could do. Another friend asked me how I knew what the sunpriest would say. I didn’t. I just read his lips, and used my ad lib skills and knowledge of the English language. I don’t think anyone else noticed the simultaneous sonorous speech other than that friend, the sunpriest and Modeus. It sucks, but I get the feeling that whenever someone in our group makes an in-game roleplaying action or speech, the others seem to tune out. Maybe the rolling dice and calculating damage macho-ifies the inherently geeky nature of the game. (But it’s a roleplaying game!)

I dazed the dragon. But in the second combat round, Trake fell. The dragon’s lethal breath would have taken out my wizard even if Trake’s at full health. Yay, I got to roll death saves! Trake clung on to the living world in the third round. The sunpriest went down too, but was resurrected by one of his powers and his Aspect (I think). Trake didn’t have to battle Death again (the dragon died by then). I assumed Trake was automatically revived.

The entire game took 2.5 hours, including half an hour to fill up our character sheets. Modeus was pleased with his decision to take out the battle map, which sped up the gameplay a lot. In the next session, Modeus will try a modified movement system and see how that works out. I’ll tell you how it goes.

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Kobold exodus – part 2

And I don’t mean to rant here, but I have to get this off my chest. Skip ahead for the house rules and story.

I am slightly biased against D&D. Dungeons & Dragons is supposed to be an RPG, but I don’t get to do the RP part very often. Lots of imagination trapped in my brain but few chances to use it. If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll know my friends are mostly tactical players. Our games tend to resemble chess, where the goal was to take down the queen as fast as possible, and with the highest amount of damage possible. The fact that the damage could’ve killed the queen twice over didn’t matter. As fast as possible, as high a damage as possible. Not as interesting as possible. Thus each move was calculated. I can find chess players who move faster than us.

Look, Neo didn’t fight Agent Smith for 45 minutes (real time) at each encounter. Their fights each last for minutes. They don’t break down each jump, wall leap, punch, kick and finger jab into a move action, a standard action, and a minor action. They just fought, sometimes wounding each other simultaneously. We broke down a mostly physical activity into a cerebral activity. The thinking took out the spontaneity. If you can’t understand that, then yay, good for you! I hope you enjoy your game.

Like I said, I’m biased towards storytelling. I’d rather find out what’s gonna happen next. By the end of the second combat round, I pretty much know what the monster’s capable of. Unless you tell me it sprouts 2 horns, has 4 multi-coloured spheres protecting it (giving it a different protection each round), fires exploding everywhere, the ground’s shaking, there’s a chandelier to grab on, there’s a cupboard to knock over for cover from the burning floor, there’s a window to smash to let sunlight in, there’s a ledge to jump onto allowing you to leap to head of said monster, I’m already bored…

So with the release of Essentials, Modeus decided to do something about it (and I’m not that pompous as to think he did it for me). He also had some house rules.

The Aspect concept

He got the concept from the Fate RPG system. Basically each character has an Aspect, something unique about the character.

An Aspect can be used in a game to gain +1d6 to any attack, saving throw, skill or damage roll. Treat as an encounter power. Use BEFORE the roll. Use of this bonus die must come from creative application of the Aspect. DMs have a right to deny this roll if there is inadequate justification.

An Aspect can be used against a player by giving a monster a +3 to any d20 or damage roll by the DM, use before the roll, but this refreshes the Aspect for use in this encounter. DM can only employ an Aspect against a player who has a depleted Aspect.

An Aspect can be used against a player by giving a monster a re-roll of a d20 or damage roll by the DM, use before the roll, doing this grants the player an action point which must be used within the encounter. DM can only employ an Aspect against a player who has no action points.

Examples are

• Seventh Son of the Seventh Son
• 1st in line to the throne
• Prince of the City

The more unique and filled with story background the Aspect is, the more the DM can play with, and the more he can award appropriate bonuses.

No battlemaps

For the first session of Essentials playtest, we would not have a battlemap. We don’t even need miniatures (sacrebleu!). We would describe our movements and actions to Modeus, and he would say whether that’s possible or act accordingly. For example, I was playing an Eladrin Wizard. I’ll tell him my spell hits an Area burst 1, and he’ll tell me how many of the enemies are hit.

The idea was to take away the chessboard movement, and replace it with storytelling movements. If it sounds possible to move there, you can move there. As a simplification, Modeus also cramped all of us together. So it’s impossible not to be able to reach an enemy (and vice versa), flanking was granted generously, and breath weapons hit everyone (yes, there was a dragon).

Trake the Eladrin Wizard

Like I mentioned, I was playing an Eladrin Wizard. I decided his name was Trake (which was short for “I’m gonna shove this Magic Missile down your trachea!”). His Aspect was that Trake was born in a beach house, amidst a hurricane, lightning storm, and crashing waves. For whatever reason, Modeus found the beach house particularly interesting. To help Modeus with his story, here’s a fuller version of Trake’s past…

Trake’s parents appeared to have fled from somewhere due to unknown reasons. They came to the beach house because they like the sound of waves splashing on the shore, the smell of the sea breeze, and the rustling of leaves of the trees sheltering their beach house. Trake was born during a hurricane, where the father protected the beach house with magic spells while his wife gave birth to a baby boy. Shortly after Trake’s birth, the lightning storms abated, the blustery wind dropped, and the tumultuous waves became mild again.

When Trake was old enough, he wanted to see the world, and left with his parents’ blessings (his mother cried though). After a short travel adventure, he went back to the beach house to check on his parents. But they were gone. The beach house was empty, and there were signs of a hurried departure.

Ok, that should be enough story bait for my DM to work with…

Transporting timber

So we’ll be playing only from Essentials guidebooks. Once I’m a player and not a DM, I tend to focus only on my character (because it takes a lot of brain cycles to choose which power to play. I’ve devised a workaround for that), and so other players fade out. We have a knight, a dwarven slayer, a human slayer, a dwarven sunpriest, a stormpriest, a thief and an Eladrin Wizard or Mage as they call it (me!). I don’t know much else about them, other than bits and pieces of background they sent in our email discussions.

Well, based on my previous experience with my dice, I’ve decided to “Damage? Screw it.” My spells do fixed damage or none at all. The only dice I had to use was the d20 to determine initiative, and whether I hit or not. I decided to go for powers that tack on nasty effects instead (in my case, the daze effect). The other players can have fun with rolling damage dice. My workaround for the deluge of power options? Memorise 3. If my wizard can memorise spells from a spell book, I can memorise just 3. Hey Magic Missile’s not hard. Trake points his staff at something and 6 points of damage goes off.

Here’s the background story:

After the Dawn Wars, the Dwarven race was in decline. Gorwin Truesilver, son of Moradin and his exarch spouse Berronar Truesilver gave up his immortality to to live amongst the ancient dwarf city of Kazak-Korum and married Seven Dwarven princesses and had 49 heirs, thus founding a line of Dwarven thanes and princes who ruled seven Dwarven kingdoms.

The seven dwarven kingdoms have since been destroyed by the Abolethic Menace. Names lost in time.

Dwarves today continue their fruitless search for these ancient civilizations to recover their ancient glory.

So our DM, Modeus, got us to escort the transportation of a load of timber from Fallcrest to Hammerfast. It’s commissioned by a dwarf (named Boltac?). When we’re near Hammerfast, we’re besieged by kobolds. 4 with slings and 4 with blades.

“Does anyone speak Draconian?” asked Modeus.
“Well, I do now.” said the knight (I think).
“You can make out the word ‘food’.” said Modeus.

Anyway, those kobolds are nasty little dodgers, half of them escaping from Trake’s illusion of gaping maw underneath their feet. I think Trake killed one of them with a Magic Missile. The rest of the little pipsqueaks were taken care of by the others. The last kobold, seeing his fallen comrades, dropped his weapon. The knight had other plans though.

“I chop him!” said the knight.
“He seemed to be surrendering, you know.” said Modeus.
“I chop him!” said the knight.
“No, I haven’t used my special power yet!” said the dwarven slayer.

Oh well, I’ll find out what the dead kobold’s supposed to say soon enough. We reached Hammerfast safely, and delivered the timber. And rested at an inn. Where there were barmaids.

Up next, cross dimensional character traits.

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Kobold exodus – part 1

WARNING: This game was played by adults, with adult conversation. You’ve been warned.

• Gorwinson (Sommlending Knight of the Realm), who searches for the truth of his father
• Teague (Buccaneer of Shadaki), a pirate who also doubles as a human shield
• Gnarly (Dwarven Gunner of Bor), who uses his Bor Musket in place of diplomacy
• Silent Dove (Kai Lord), seeking to redeem the obviously misunderstood Kraan of the darkside
• Chi (Vakeros Warrior-Mage), who seeks to destroy what little control and sanity I have

The tower fight

The party moved in quickly. In the centre of the manor was a huge courtyard. A tower stood half crumbling, 5 storeys tall. A naked woman covered in what appears to be blood, stood at the edge of the 5th storey and screamed at them. This was Mathilda, the count’s sister, whose story plot I’m continuing from the last Lone Wolf session. The stairs were gone, but the rubble from the fallen bits of the tower could be used to climb from one storey to the next.

Mathilda started shooting fireballs at them. 5 flaming spheres shot to the ground, 1 for each of them. “Holy %$#@!”

Gnarly climbed the rubble while dodging the fireballs (Difficulty 4). Chi followed. Gorwinson grumbled because he had to leave his horse again. Dove fired arrows at Mathilda while climbing (he’s the only one with ranged weapons).

Teague bellowed some cry worshipping the sea lords or something. Then taking both his cutlasses, he threw them into the air at Mathilda. Due to the craftsmanship and skill in wielding cutlasses, the weapons were supposed to hit Mathilda and drop down (even if they miss). That move was so awesome I didn’t even want to rule a Difficulty check. But I did rule that if he did this, he couldn’t move up to the next level with the others, since he had to retrieve his cutlasses.

So each round, Mathilda fired balls of flame at them. Each round Gnarly, Chi and Gorwinson try to dodge the fireballs and move to the next level. Each round Dove shot arrows and Teague threw cutlasses (to be retrieved).

At the 4th storey…
“Am I in range?” asked Gnarly.
“Yes.” I replied. I knew he was saving up ammo and waiting for this for a long time.

Gnarly shouldered his Bor Musket, took aim, and fired. At this point, Mathilda ignored the rest of the party, and directed her fireballs at the Bor Musket. The fireballs and the lead shot from the musket collided in mid-air and exploded. The blow was cushioned for Mathilda, but not by much.

Gnarly did the maximum damage for his attack roll, doing over 40 points of damage to Mathilda. Now, I don’t think any monster in the world of Lone Wolf had this much health points, but I figured with Gnarly and Gorwinson capable of doing triple damage, I’d better beef Mathilda up.

Even with that blast, Mathilda survived, but barely. Behind her, was a mud idol, glowing faintly purple.

Qing Ting Dian Shui

Gorwinson went after Mathilda and killed her. Dove went after Mathilda and revived and stabilised her. “This is the 2nd NPC I saved already,” said Dove, referring to the boy thief in Toran as the first. Chi went after the mud idol and destroyed it. At the destruction of the mud idol, the tower started to crumble. The floor was starting to give way. The party had to move fast to avoid falling to their death.

Then Chi ran to Mathilda, grabbed her from Dove, and dashed towards the edge of the 5th storey of the crumbling tower. In slow motion, with no intention of stopping at the edge, Chi leapt off with Mathilda in tow. “Qing… Ting… Dian… Shui!!!” cried Chi.

Still in slow motion, with falling rubble and fleeing comrades, Chi started having sex with Mathilda.

As both of them fell slowly (slow motion, remember?), they reached the height of sensual pleasure. At about 1 metre from the ground, Chi teleported to the ground (thus avoiding falling damage). I imagined him raising both his hands like an Olympic gymnast after landing. I gave him a 10.

All the while, I’m laughing as my tower crumbled and fell on itself. I completely forgot about the other party members, and just assumed they arrived safely on the ground.

Digression on “Qing Ting Dian Shui”. It’s an inside joke, so I’ll try to explain it to you. It’s Chinese, and means roughly “dragonfly dips water”. It means the dragonfly is light of being and capable of skimming the water. It is also a fairly major skill in Chinese Wuxia, where the pugilist crosses bodies of water by running over it. The inside joke however, was this… pr0n flick that Chi told us about. A naked male pugilist and naked female pugilist were sparring with each other. Don’t ask me why their clothes were off… The man fought the woman, and somewhere in the middle of the fight, they took off into the air, and the man did the “Qing Ting Dian Shui” move that Chi just pulled off. End digression.

I guess that’s my own fault. I was supposed to make sure there were enough barmaids in my story. Mathilda was the only woman encountered so far. And she’s naked. Chi had a lot of sexual angst built up. I had it coming…

One of the stone pieces fell on Teague, triggering some story that Teague had (Teague planned it out, and I’ll tell you more when it triggers in future). As the party reached the ground, a piece of stone fell on the tower’s floor, and ruptured the flooring. There were 5 more levels below. “As above, so below.” At basement 5, there’s another mud idol, which was destroyed by Chi. Gnarly also found some glittery silver powder. “That’s mine!” said Gnarly. That’s the work done by D. Dallus, and does 4x damage. There’s enough for 2 charges.

“Do you remember anything?” asked Dove of the woman. She remembered wanting to look beautiful, some rituals in the forest, an evil presence. And that’s it.

“So, you don’t remember anything about a man having sex with you while flying off the edge of a tower?” asked Teague.
“No.” replied Mathilda.
“Good. Cos the soreness is natural for people with amnesia.”
“Ok. Can I have my clothes back?”
“NO.” said Chi, who then grabbed her and flung her over his shoulder.

Out of character, Gnarly asked me how I’m going to write this in the blog. Believe me, I’m trying…

They searched the manor. In the drawing room, hung a large map of the region near Toran. Somewhere in the sea north of Toran, was a red X. Teague took the map and rolled it up. On second thought, he memorised the layout. Then tore the red X portion off the map and swallowed it. Then he rolled the rest of the map.

Below the map, were assorted statuettes. There’s a compass that seemed to point differently when different people walked past it. “Ah the heart’s desire. I already have my heart’s desire here.” said Chi. And he smacked the bottom of Mathilda who’s draped over his shoulder.

On the table, there’s a severed hand with a signet ring. Gorwinson recognised it to be the grandfather’s signet ring. It had the bearings of a royal house. “Where the heck is the rest of the body?!”

“Are there potions of Laumspur?” asked Chi. Yes, 2. And enough for 10 meals. I felt sorry for them…

“I need to have enough meals on me, man. Otherwise I could die of starvation.” (-3 Endurance)
“I can heal myself. Then don’t have to eat anymore. I could go without food forever!! I’m a god!!”

Yeah, there’s a flaw somewhere there…

I also said there were gold statuettes worth 40 Gold Crowns, and takes up 1 item slot. Dove and Gorwinson didn’t take anything (well, at least they’re playing to the expectations of a Kai Lord and Sommlending Knight). They got their fill and left the house.

In front of them, was Captain Kirk.
“Aaaarrr, where be me map?” asked Kirk. Teague thrust the rolled up map at him.
“It’s torn! Aahh, it seems you has doubts. There be time when you be needing the help of me and me crew at the Enterprise.”
And trotted off towards his small horse-drawn carriage.

And our adventurers stood open-mouthed at Captain Kirk as he headed north in his carriage. Warm sunlight bathed them as the morning sun rose. Mathilda squirmed a little and Chi smacked her bottom.

To be continued…

This had been a Lone Wolf multiplayer (aff link) adventure with the Heroes of Magnamund (aff link) companion book.

=====
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A motley crew investigates – part 5

• Gorwinson (Sommlending Knight of the Realm), who searches for the truth of his father
• Teague (Buccaneer of Shadaki), a pirate who also doubles as a human shield
• Gnarly (Dwarven Gunner of Bor), who uses his Bor Musket in place of diplomacy
• Silent Dove (Kai Lord), seeking to redeem the obviously misunderstood Kraan of the darkside
• Chi (Vakeros Warrior-Mage), who seeks to destroy what little control and sanity I have

The fallen knight had his right hand outstretched, almost touching a flowerpot. The flowerpot had a sunflower and a nightshade in it.

“Is this the knight we’re looking for?” asked Gorwinson. Dove guided the horse to the body. The horse confirmed it. *neigh*
“How did he die?” asked Dove.
“Stab wound to the heart.” I said. On hindsight, that almost sounded impossible. The knight’s wearing plate mai…

“Can I wear his plate mail?” asked Gnarly.
“We’re not taking anything off this knight!” said Dove and Gorwinson.
“Where the f$#% is Captain Kirk?” asked Teague. We’ve got one very paranoid pirate on our hands…

Exploring the garden

There’s an archway at the gate. Carved on the arch itself were the words: “As above, so below.” And it’s signed by D. Dallus.
“Ohohohohoho…” said Gnarly. The others were perplexed though. Remember, no one knew each other’s secret yet (see part 2 for that).

They moved the flowerpot away and found a pull ring. On closer inspection, there’s a trapdoor where the flowerpot sat on. Chi opened it, and saw darkness down there. He teleported down there to get a look. Nothing, too dark. Teleported back up. Then closed the trapdoor.

They decided to explore the garden first. Dove grabs the sunflower.

They do not like cartography

Here’s where I made a mistake. Apparently, my friends intensely dislike cartography. Originally, I wanted them to be a little hands-on, drawing sections of the map while exploring. That’s what I did when I played Dragon Warriors. The map didn’t have to be accurate. I planned for them to use it while escaping the traps. The moment I said they were to draw the map on paper, they groaned. Like they’d rather be ambushed by dozens of black hooded ninjas than draw the map. I lost half the party’s attention while we’re doing this.

“Can I burn down the garden?” asked Chi. I said there are metal grills forming wall-like structures. Granted, I can’t stop them if they want to blast their way through.

So Chi teleported to the arch, to see the garden from atop. And I reverted to drawing the map myself. It was not fun. They didn’t find it fun, so I didn’t find it fun that they didn’t find it fun. It’s just not fun. I think I made that clear. Because of this, I simplified my map on the spot. Here’s how it’s supposed to look like:

There are two maps, one is the garden (bottom map), and one is the subterranean passages (top map) below it. “As above, so below.” At the garden, they wound through the garden paths, and found a moon-shaped tile. Then they reached a pedestal with a circular indent. Below the indent were these words:

The moon and the sun
Together as one
Both you must unite
The timing just right
Lest you rot in slime
Till the end of time

That was written in 15 May 2010. I wrote that in preparation for the last Lone Wolf game, but didn’t get to use it. Till now.

They slotted the moontile into the indent. Nothing happened. “Oh, we’ve got to explore the trapdoor.” said Dove. “Yeah, ‘As above, so below’,” said Chi.

There were some light-giving lichen around the entrance of the trapdoor, but not sufficient to allow much more vision further. Gorwinson was miffed that he had to leave his horse above ground. I was not a popular DM right then. They entered the underground passages, and howling was heard. They moved in the direction where they think the other supposed suntile was at, using the same map as the garden. I just ruled it to be the same. They didn’t like cartography, remember? (I know the two maps I gave above weren’t twins. I was going to slip in somewhere that this Dallus guy wrote “Symmetry is for fools” or something).

They found the suntile, and large wolves with glowing red eye accosted them. Baying sounded everywhere underground. “What the hell are wolves doing down here?!” The party was swamped. Finishing off a pack of wolves brought another pack. The sound of canines barking reverberated off the walls, disguising the direction where they came from. “Just throw the pirate at them. He doesn’t get damage in the first round!” They killed the wolves, and got the hell out of that place. They weren’t in the mood to explore.

Solving the puzzle

Once they got out and up into open air, the barking stopped. They went to the pedestal in the garden and tried the suntile. Nothing happened. “Oh, we need to put them in at the same time.” said Teague. “There should be another pedestal down there too then.” said Dove. They sent Teague and Chi down there again. Dove grabbed the nightshade from the flowerpot.

Underground again, at the approximate position below where the garden pedestal was, stood the underground pedestal. The same poem was carved, with a crescent moon shaped indent below that. When they stood before the underground pedestal, the walls behind them parted, showing a clear path to the trapdoor entrance.

This was the puzzle. What were they going to do to synchronise putting in the suntile and moontile into their respective indents?

I already had 2 possible solutions. Someone could light a torch at the trapdoor entrance. When he takes the torch and shove it underground, that’s the cue for the garden team to insert the suntile. At the same time (or around there), the underground team will see the light from the torch, and insert the moontile. 2nd solution was to use the flowerpot. Hold it above head, and fling it down into the underground passage. Garden team sees flowerpot being flung, and underground team hears the flowerpot smashing. My friends did something else.

Chi went to stand underneath the trapdoor. With Teague looking at him for the signal, Chi fires arcane bolts into the sky. The garden team sees the bolts shot and inserts the suntile. Meanwhile, Teague inserts the moontile. Mission accomplished.

I didn’t activate any of the arrow traps. I threw away the planned positions of the large wolves. I even forgot to activate the trap when they correctly inserted the suntile and moontile. A poison gas was supposed to emit from the fountain in the centre of the garden. Water was supposed to rush into the underground passages and flood it, forcing any adventurer to move quickly to the trapdoor or drown. I was drained by how much unfun my friends found the garden, and I was just glad they solved the puzzle.

A purple glow surrounds the manor, and then fades. A click was heard, and the front gates to the manor were open.

“Who the f$#@ is the interior designer?” (D. Dallus…)
“This count is damn weird.”
“Can we burn down the garden now?” asked Chi.

Up next, a battle with a naked damsel covered in blood. You do not want to miss this one. Trust me.

=====
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A motley crew investigates – part 4

• Gorwinson (Sommlending Knight of the Realm), who searches for the truth of his father
• Teague (Buccaneer of Shadaki), a pirate who also doubles as a human shield
• Gnarly (Dwarven Gunner of Bor), who uses his Bor Musket in place of diplomacy
• Silent Dove (Kai Lord), seeking to redeem the obviously misunderstood Kraan of the darkside
• Chi (Vakeros Warrior-Mage), who seeks to destroy what little control and sanity I have

So they set off towards the south of Toran, in the direction where Count Gerrich’s estate was. And where the grandfather of Gorwinson was supposed to go as well. Presently, they hit the forest.

“Can we burn the forest down?” asked Chi. I ignored him.

“Roll a difficulty check of 3,” I asked Dove. He passed. “You feel animosity around you.”

6 black hooded ninjas fell from the trees above. Due to his Sixth Sense, Dove had a bonus action, and he fired off an arrow at one of the ninjas. Then the battle started. “Where’s Captain Kirk?” asked Teague (referring to the pirate he met in White Lion’s Inn).

Quick digression. The Lone Wolf combat system wasn’t clear on this. There’s a combat ratio, calculated as (player’s Combat Skill) – (enemy’s Combat Skill). Then you roll against a table to find out the results. The higher your d10 roll, the better. That’s fine when it’s the players turn. When it’s the enemy’s turn, I should rejoice when I roll as low as possible. This fundamentally upsets the flow of the game. So in this session, I decided that even if it’s the enemy’s turn, I ask the player who’s being attacked to roll. This way, it’s always aim for the high rolls. And that I’m lazy because I don’t have to roll any dice. *smile* End digression.

The ninjas were defeated, and all of them dissolved, leaving only their clothes and weapons. “Can I take their swords?” asked Teague. “Sure.” I said. I’m not sure what he wants to do with them. Sell them? Ensure he’s always armed? Probably the former.

They sustained medium wounds. Dove healed them. Then moving on, they found a tethered horse. They found drag marks around the horse. Gorwinson confirmed that the horse belonged to a Sommlending knight.

“We should find out what happened.” said Dove.
“Eh, talk to the horse lah.” said Chi, referring to Dove’s Animal Kinship power.
“WHERE’S CAPTAIN KIRK?” bellowed Teague.

Dove used his powers on the horse. The impressions given by the horse were: [master and apprentice captured and dragged off into the forest *neigh*]. “Are we sure it’s the master?” asked Gorwinson. I don’t understand the suspicions. I’m pretty sure the horse recognised its master. “Why was the horse tethered then?” asked Dove. [setting up camp *neigh*]

“Can I f*$% the horse?” asked Chi. -1 Sanity to DM.

“Can I ride the horse?” asked Gnarly. It’s a Sommlending knight’s horse, so I decided to rule a difficulty for him to try riding it. “Uh, then no thanks. What if I fall and get hurt?” That’s so not-Gnarly.

They searched the horse, and found 23 Gold Crowns (pocketed swiftly by Teague), 2 potions of Laumspur (split between Chi and Gorwinson) and 1 dose of Alether berries.

“What’s that?” asked Gnarly.
“Alether berries boost your combat skill temporarily in battle.” I replied.
“Ohhhhh, like Viagra.” said Gnarly. “I’ll take that.” -1 Sanity to DM.

With Gorwinson and Dove leading the horse, the party left the forest. The sun was setting. And I exercised a Lone Wolf rule.

“All of you need to eat a Meal.” I said.
“WHAT?!” cried some of them. Those who didn’t say anything either could heal themselves or could hunt for food or had Meals available (Gorwinson wanted to stock up on Meals). Chi grudgingly deducted 3 points from his Endurance score.

“I’m getting low on health.” said Gnarly.
“I thought I healed you guys just now,” said Dove.
“Really?” said Gnarly. The party started adding 2 more points of Endurance back.
“Can we eat the horse?” asked Gnarly.
“Where be that Captain Kirk, that slimy scheming pegleg?” asked Teague, still looking suspiciously around for the hidden pirate. “I know he be hidin’ somewhere heer”. Aaarrr.
“NOW can we burn down the forest?” asked Chi.

I’m sure you know of ways to optimise a party like this. Get someone with healing abilities (like a Kai Lord). Get someone who can channel Willpower into damage (like a Vakeros Warrior-Mage. Incidentally, Warrior-Mages can also vampire on their Endurance to replenish Willpower). Add in a Sommlending Knight who can heal 2 points of other people’s damage with 1 point of his own Endurance. It’s like having your own power generator with an unlimited supply of nuclear energy. With that in mind, I never expect my friends to be stumped by anything I throw at them.

After a short rest, the party continued on their journey. Soon, they saw a manor in the distance. Behind it was a tall tower, jutting upwards as though trying to put a spot of ugliness in the orange evening sky. Before the manor was a garden.

And at the gate of the garden, lay a knight facing down.

Up next, Chi threatens to burn down my garden.

=====
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A motley crew investigates – part 3

• Gorwinson (Sommlending Knight of the Realm), who searches for the truth of his father
• Teague (Buccaneer of Shadaki), a treasure-looting pirate who also doubles as a human shield
• Gnarly (Dwarven Gunner of Bor), who uses his Bor Musket for diplomatic purposes
• Silent Dove (Kai Lord), seeking to redeem the obviously misunderstood Kraan of the darkside
• Chi (Vakeros Warrior-Mage), who seeks to destroy what little control and sanity I have

Before we continue, my friend corrected me on his character’s name. He’s supposed to be Gnarly, not Gimli as I previously wrote. He even sent me a picture (drawn on his iPad), stating in no weak terms that I was to post it here. I said I couldn’t really post it as drawn, that I have to do something…

I mean, that’s just a little… I’m trying to keep this family-friendly… But he would have none of that. Oh what the hell. I give you Gnarly, the Dwarven Gunner:

He said, if anyone asked, that’s a mushroom. I asked him why didn’t Gnarly wear any pants. He said his starting equipment only had chainmail waistcoat and a helmet. “Pants” is not listed, so his dwarf wasn’t wearing any. I couldn’t really argue with that…

The White Lion’s Inn

So back to our injured boy. Dove managed to stabilise the boy’s injuries and stave off any further murderous attempts by Chi. Some coins were found in the clenched fist of the boy, which Teague recovered quickly (“That be mine, mateys”).

“What’s your name?” asked Dove.
“Fillian.” said the boy. I had to think fast. If you remember, Fillian’s the name of the NPC druid in my Plants versus Zombies game.
The boy was strong enough to remember that he was in the White Lion’s Inn, but everything after that was forgotten.

“We go to White Lion’s Inn then,” said Gorwinson.
“I note down the boy in my backpack,” said Gnarly.
“You can’t put him in your backpack!” said Dove and me at the same time.
“Why not?” said Gnarly.
“I’m handing him over to the authorities.” said Dove. Gnarly grumbled, and erased “Boy” from his backpack items.

The marketplace crowd parted hurriedly, since they just witnessed a theft, a teleportation fight scene, and a corroding severed arm. The party arrived at the White Lion’s Inn, and this is where I played my DM card. I prepared a slip of paper for each of my friends, each containing information only known to the reader. I advised them that they should keep that information to themselves at least for a while, but they were free to share it with the group. I told them to just read, and wait for my cue before reacting. I wanted to see what kind of dynamics would occur, and what my friends would do to role play that.

A young knight came into the inn, saw Gorwinson, and after hesitating a little, went straight to him.

“Is he pretty looking?” asked Gnarly.
“Is he wearing plate armour?” asked Teague.
“Does his armour fit me?” asked Gnarly.
I ignored their questions…

And gave my friend playing Gorwinson a slip of paper. In summarised form:

The young knight’s name was Jared. He’s an apprentice knight. His mentor, Kramer, and him were sent to look for Count Gerrich. They were then to escort the count back to Holmgard. The count’s estate was south of Toran.

En route, they were attacked by “black hooded ninjas”, and both of them were captured. Somehow he managed to flee and arrived in Toran. Jared asked Gorwinson, a fellow knight, to help.

I wrote that if he agrees to help, then say “Of course I will go to Count Gerrich’s estate!” or something similar. My friend doesn’t have to agree too. Just say something anyway.

I also said a pirate with a peg leg approached Teague. “Aaarrr, I be recognaizing fella sealegs if I do be blind” I was making up pirate talk as I went. Teague played along (“Aaarrrr”). I gave him a slip of paper too.

He’s Captain Kirk. He said there’s a rumour of a treasure map that a certain Count Gerrich possessed. He wanted you to go retrieve it, and perhaps form a mutually beneficial partnership.

“And don’t go no thinking ’bout slippin’ away with de map like some slimy eel. I be watchin’ ye.”

Aaaarrrr.

“Ohoho…” Teague grinned. Teague be happy, as be me. I mean, so was I. Aaarrr.

To Gnarly:

In Bor, there was talk of some upgraded version of Boom Powder, created by a certain fellow D. Dallus. This Dallus person was last heard to be employed by a Count Gerrich.

To Chi:

There’s a rumour that Count Gerrich has a certain magic item, a compass. This compass is reputed to reveal your heart’s desire.

Little did I know that this “heart’s desire” would spell destruction of my sanity at the end of the game’s session…

Gorwinson indeed agreed to help, and I gave the cue for the others to respond. I was expecting some kind of cacophony, but I was mistaken. It was dead silence for 3 seconds. Oh well.

You will note that I didn’t tell you what I gave to Dove. Well, that’s because during the game, he didn’t say anything about his secret. So none of the other friends knew what it was. I respect Dove’s decision and so I’m not talking about it here. You’ll have to read about it in the next series. For what it’s worth, the information’s not pertinent in the current session. But I find it interesting that Dove held it back anyway…

The party decided to go to Count Gerrich’s estate to find out what happened. Each of them were holding a piece of the puzzle. Only Gorwinson revealed his reasons to go to the count’s estate. The rest were biding their time…

The proprietor of the White Lion’s Inn was mentioned that he left the inn early that morning, leaving a young man in charge. The proprietor fit the description of Gorwinson’s grandfather. The young man let slip that usually the proprietor always kept a dark blue signet ring with him, but he never wore it on his hands. The proprietor left in the direction of the southern gates of Toran.

Chi was frustrated that there were no barmaids to fondle.

Up next, an ambush by black hooded ninjas.

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A motley crew investigates – part 2

Warning: my friends seemed to be loosening up a lot. So a lot of events and dialogue are risque. I guess the free form nature of Lone Wolf gave them something different than D&D 4e. You’ve been warned.

In summarised form, here is my motley crew:

Gorwinson, a Sommlending Knight of the Realm

Raised in Chalver Abbey near Holmgard, Gorwinson is an orphan searching for his father. Based on his research, he found out his grandfather is living in Toran.

I believe my friend planned that the grandfather’s dead. Because his knight should probably be late thirties or something. I have other plans… muahahaha…

Teague, a Buccaneer of Shadaki

Teague is a swashbuckling pirate with an eye for whichever ship’s got the most loot. You could throw him into a sea of hungry sharks and he’d be unharmed. For the first round of combat that is.

Why buy when ye can steal? Aaaarrrr

Gimli Gnarly, a Dwarven Gunner of Bor

Gunnery skill can be used in place of Diplomacy skill

“Where’s the gold?” and point Bor Musket at target. “Sign here for peace” and point Bor Musket at king.

A Bor Musket does triple damage. Luckily, Gunners start with only 12 charges of Boom Powder…

UPDATE: My friend informed me that his character’s name is actually Gnarly, not Gimli.

Silent Dove, a Kai Lord

Silent Dove is convinced that the Kraan (large leathery flying beasts of the darkside) are redeemable. He has Animal Kinship (no Gerbil Punches though) and Healing. I believe it’s a reference to Silent Wolf, Lone Wolf’s original name. My friend told me that Lone Wolf kinda believed Kraan are redeemable. I have no idea where he dug that information up…

For the purposes of storytelling, I will shorten his name to “Dove”.

Chi, a Vakeros Warrior-Mage

I have no background on him, because my friend only told me what he’s playing on the game day itself. But it turns out Chi gave me the biggest heart attacks throughout the game. I can’t even write about the origins of his name “Chi” in polite company.

The meeting up

A meeting of characters seems to be the hardest thing a DM can do. The typical manner is for all the characters to meet in a tavern or inn. How they came to be there may or may not be explored. I decided to try something else. I came up with the idea of a boy running in the marketplace of Toran, and somehow introducing all the characters in. That’s all I had. I’m serious. Everything else I winged it. We cracked into laughter just 2 minutes into the game. Let me tell you what happened…

It’s the marketplace in Toran. The streets were lined with merchants and peddlers and shopkeepers. I pointed at Teague, and said “You feel a bump on your body”.

“What? Where? The leg? Me crotch? Was I fondled? I keep me coins near me chest.” Oh yeah, my friend played in character for his pirate throughout the entire game (and even outside of the game). Awesome. Aaaarrrr.

So Teague felt a bump near his leg, and a boy moved quickly in front of him. Teague gave chase. In front of the fleeing boy, was Chi (I pointed at my friend). “Thief!” said Teague. So the boy turned right into an alley, and at the end of the alley, was Dove. “What happ-” started Dove.

“I blast the boy for 5 points of damage!” said Chi.

I couldn’t take it and heaved into laughter. Everyone laughed too. 2 minutes into the game and one of my NPCs is going to die. It’s either laugh or cry. And I’ve never seen my friend (playing Dove) laugh that hard before. He couldn’t speak for 1 whole minute (as did I).

After we managed to compose ourselves, I said the boy fell on the floor. Dove rushed in to heal him (he made the Difficulty Test). “What happened?” asked Dove. “Thief!” said Teague. At that moment, Gorwinson appeared behind Teague and Chi, trotting past the alley on his horse. A woman, dragging Gnarly into the alley, cried out “Oh! My son!” and went to the boy. Gnarly was confused why he was suddenly dragged (literally) into the picture. I will tell you now, the woman was made up on the spot. But there’s more…

The woman started to drag the boy away. “No, we have to find out what happened.” said Dove. “Thief! I was shouting it all the way. Didn’t you hear it?” said Teague. The woman was unusually strong, and pulled the boy. “Hey hey hey” said Dove. Chi moved closer. They were sensing something strange about the woman.

The woman dropped the boy on the floor, and turned tail. It was at this moment that I had my second shock.

“I teleport and grab her arm.” said Chi. Oh dear…

The woman turned to look at her assailant, and took a mighty leap, pulling Chi along. I thought that might unhinge Chi a bit. “I start chopping at her” said Chi. Apparently not. The woman used her free (right) hand to parry the blow. “Oooohhhh” said the rest of the party. A force gathered on her right hand, and she sliced downwards, cutting off her left arm. “Holy @#$%!” cried the rest of the party. The woman made it to the rooftops of the marketplace.

“I’m gonna chop off her other arm!” said Chi.
“Chop off her legs too!” said Gnarly.

Unfazed, Chi looked at the severed arm, threw it down to Teague, and teleported toward her. This time I was ready. And so was she. The woman dodged the teleport/grab move and jumped out of sight. Chi descended to the ground level and rejoined the party.

The severed arm in Teague’s hands started to dissolve and collapse onto itself. All in all, I was quite pleased with myself on handling the situation. “We should talk to the boy,” said Dove. Oh dear, I forgot about him…

Up next, everyone gets a secret.

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A motley crew investigates – part 1