Sir Boracelsus – Champion of True Love

So it was a new Dungeons & Dragons game. The DM told us to prepare new 1st level characters. The house rules were

• All of us had to be of the same race
• We are not to tell each other what character classes we’re playing
• No magical items (at first)

The consensus was that all of us would play humans then, since that race provided the most flexibility. I thought about what I haven’t tried playing and it hit me: the role of protector.

Thus was Sir Boracelsus born. His parents died when he was young, and he flit from foster home to foster home. One night, he couldn’t stand his drunken foster father’s beatings any longer and retaliated. The man hit the floor with a thud. A woman stood crying in the kitchen doorway. “I’m, I’m sorry,” said Boracelsus. And he fled.

Deep in the woods, Boracelsus stopped running, breathing in gasps. He leaned against an oak tree and closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. A breeze brushed against his face, and he smelled sweet flowers. Opening his eyes, he saw a woman dressed in white silk. There was a pale nimbus of moonlight around her, bathing the trees with a serene glow. She frowned as she approached him.

“Oh Boracelsus,” she sighed, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Be at peace.”

And that was how Boracelsus met Sehanine, the goddess of love, and eventually came to serve her.

For the game, I made him Sir Boracelsus, a virtuous paladin, and optimised him for protection, healing and removal of harmful effects. He had a lyre, you know, in case he needs to sing for the blossoming of love.

The DM asked us to introduce ourselves. We went round the table. “I am Sir Boracelsus,” I said. “For the gods!”

“Oh, there are no gods in this world.” said the DM.
“Oh…”

Another story background dealt the doom of death, before the birth of Boracelsus’ bravery could be courageously charted.

It didn’t help that I kept missing in the game session. I rolled a total of three 1′s on a d20 in that game. There’s something statistically wrong with my d20…

The darkness falling incident

“There are charred corpses all around you. It is getting dark…” said the DM.
“I break a sunrod.” I said. “So there’s light now.”
“But there’s still some distance before you reach the mountains…” said the DM.
“I have 2.”

Yeah, payback is sweet.

The appearance of the undead female officer

“You arrive at a plateau. At the far end, there’s a small structure with a squarish opening. Black mist keeps pouring out of the opening. Then a woman appears out of the black mist.”

The DM takes out a female figurine and places it on the game board.

“She’s dressed in military clothing, and she’s half naked…” said the DM.
“Which half?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“You said she’s half naked. So, which half?”
“Uh, buh, uh…”

Yeah, take that.

Wait, if there are no gods in that game universe, how do Divine powers work?