Telling stories of brave adventurers

Sir Boracelsus – Champion of True Love

So it was a new Dungeons & Dragons game. The DM told us to prepare new 1st level characters. The house rules were

• All of us had to be of the same race
• We are not to tell each other what character classes we’re playing
• No magical items (at first)

The consensus was that all of us would play humans then, since that race provided the most flexibility. I thought about what I haven’t tried playing and it hit me: the role of protector.

Thus was Sir Boracelsus born. His parents died when he was young, and he flit from foster home to foster home. One night, he couldn’t stand his drunken foster father’s beatings any longer and retaliated. The man hit the floor with a thud. A woman stood crying in the kitchen doorway. “I’m, I’m sorry,” said Boracelsus. And he fled.

Deep in the woods, Boracelsus stopped running, breathing in gasps. He leaned against an oak tree and closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. A breeze brushed against his face, and he smelled sweet flowers. Opening his eyes, he saw a woman dressed in white silk. There was a pale nimbus of moonlight around her, bathing the trees with a serene glow. She frowned as she approached him.

“Oh Boracelsus,” she sighed, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Be at peace.”

And that was how Boracelsus met Sehanine, the goddess of love, and eventually came to serve her.

For the game, I made him Sir Boracelsus, a virtuous paladin, and optimised him for protection, healing and removal of harmful effects. He had a lyre, you know, in case he needs to sing for the blossoming of love.

The DM asked us to introduce ourselves. We went round the table. “I am Sir Boracelsus,” I said. “For the gods!”

“Oh, there are no gods in this world.” said the DM.
“Oh…”

Another story background dealt the doom of death, before the birth of Boracelsus’ bravery could be courageously charted.

It didn’t help that I kept missing in the game session. I rolled a total of three 1′s on a d20 in that game. There’s something statistically wrong with my d20…

The darkness falling incident

“There are charred corpses all around you. It is getting dark…” said the DM.
“I break a sunrod.” I said. “So there’s light now.”
“But there’s still some distance before you reach the mountains…” said the DM.
“I have 2.”

Yeah, payback is sweet.

The appearance of the undead female officer

“You arrive at a plateau. At the far end, there’s a small structure with a squarish opening. Black mist keeps pouring out of the opening. Then a woman appears out of the black mist.”

The DM takes out a female figurine and places it on the game board.

“She’s dressed in military clothing, and she’s half naked…” said the DM.
“Which half?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“You said she’s half naked. So, which half?”
“Uh, buh, uh…”

Yeah, take that.

Wait, if there are no gods in that game universe, how do Divine powers work?

The count asks for help – part 5

You should read part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4 if you haven’t done so.

Previously, our Kai adventurers staked out the rooftops of Toran, fought a pair of ugly ninjas, and finally witnessed the arrival of Mathilda Gerrich and Occula. Before we continue, my friend who played Archer, after reading the previous episode, complained that he didn’t get enough screen time. He did a lot to obtain valuable information from seducing the barmaid, but had his monumental contribution reduced to a couple of sentences. He was, to say the least, a tad unhappy with me.

So here’s the director’s cut of what happened back at the White Lion’s Inn…

A barmaid’s seduction (director’s cut)

While the rest of the group went to stake out at the rooftops of Toran, Archer stayed behind at the White Lion’s Inn. A barmaid caught his eye, and after some flirtatious exchanges, the barmaid gave Archer a signal and went to a side door of the bar. Archer followed her (quite eagerly), and grabbing her (quite roughly) by the waist, led her (quite forcefully) into her room.

blah blah Kai robes flew off blah blah lips met blah blah dress torn apart blah blah blah her hands on his chiselled pectoralis major blah blah soft milky white skin blah blah blah flesh on flesh blah blah rippling biceps blah blah heaving bosom blah blah blah dug her nails into blah blah like smooth snowy buns blah blah blah like a hot spear piercing blah blah blah rhythmic synchronicity blah blah a cry blah blah a moan blah blah eyes opened wide blah blah intense closeness blah blah blah a sigh.

For the purpose of public consumption, I’ve written only about 10% of the whole incident, which is what could be published without getting into trouble. For the rest, you’ll have to get the director’s director’s cut straight from Archer’s mouth.

Then, as Seiran the Insatiable emerged from the barmaid’s bed chambers, he met up with Chaosbreaker and Beastmaster. Seiran is the “real” name of Archer. It spells the Japanese kanji of “sei” and “ran”:

The first kanji means “sex”, the second kanji means “unrestrained” or “indiscriminate” (as close to the English equivalent as I could get. I’m not that fluent in Japanese.).

So, after you’ve recovered from your shock (or laughter, depending), we’ll fast forward to where we left off, where Mathilda and Occula just arrived at the White Lion’s Inn…

The reluctant servant

Archer asked if his arrows were replenished, since they returned to the Kai Monastery before this adventure started. I ruled that Stormsong was still furious with their actions from the previous adventure, and so ordered everyone at the Monastery to not help them. One and half adventures since I started hosting this Lone Wolf game, I could sense a major rebellion brewing amongst my friends against this master of theirs…

Beastmaster wanted to get the room right next to Mathilda’s, but her room was at the end of the corridor, and Occula occupied the room just beside hers. Torturer wanted to sprinkle talcum powder just outside of Mathilda’s and Occula’s rooms to see if they could be tracked (via powdered footprints). Beastmaster did something more direct. He conferred with his fellow Kai, and they hatched up a plan.

Beastmaster went up to Occula’s room, flanked by Archer and Chaosbreaker (because both had Sixth Sense and Mindblast), and knocked on the door. Occula opened the door, and peered at Beastmaster. “Yes?” asked the bald man.

“We were sent by Count Gerrich to track his sister’s comings and goings.” announced Beastmaster.
“I, I don’t believe you.” said Occula, eyeing Beastmaster’s brown friar robes.

Beastmaster took off his brown robes to reveal his green Kai robes.

“We’re Kai, and we want to help you. Is Her Lady involved in blood rituals and mud idols?” asked Beastmaster. Archer and Chaosbreaker tensed up, ready for surprises. Occula stared for a moment, then motioned them to go into his room. “Come in, quickly!”

Occula told them that he heavily suspected Mathilda of participating in some kind of ritual. He had accompanied her to some unknown places, and he’s always left standing outside while she entered the place. When she returned after some time, she looked different, more beautiful and slimmer. And there was a growing sense of what he could only describe as evil. He dare not question Mathilda due to his loyalty to the count, but more importantly, because he was afraid of the answer. He kept close to Mathilda on their outings, but there was only so much he could do.

As our Kai adventurers pondered on their next move, night fell.

Torturer was glad he didn’t slip the laxative into Mathilda’s and Occula’s tea. They needed whatever was about to happen, to happen.

Stopping the ritual

Around midnight, Mathilda left her room and knocked on Occula’s door. When he opened it, she turned without a word and proceeded towards the stairs. He followed her quickly, stamping his foot a little harder than was needed with each step, hoping to give some sort of unspoken signal to the Kai. Our hidden Kai adventurers were already lying in wait, and followed noiselessly along.

Leaving the inn, Mathilda wrapped her black robes around her tightly, with Occula trailing behind. They moved silently, deeper and deeper into the southern parts of Toran. Then they stopped at the abandoned house where the boy scavenger was kidnapped. The abandoned house with the unfinished ritual.

Mathilda turned towards Occula and said something to him. Then she entered the house while Occula stood helplessly outside. Our Kai made themselves known to Occula, and he shook his hands out in front of him, motioning them to stay away. They checked the house out, noting 2 windows, 1 in front beside the door, and 1 at the side of the house. Chaosbreaker went to the side window for a closer look and then purple light streamed out.

The ritual had started.

They gathered at the front of the house.

“Save…” started Occula.
“I’m charging in first.” announced Beastmaster, at the same time as…
“I take out my bow and notch an arrow and ready my Mindblast to blast anybody.” said Archer.

“Eh, let the DM finish what he wants to say.” said Torturer.

“Save Mathilda.” begged Occula.

Beastmaster lifted his foot and kicked the door in. The door flew open with a mighty crash. Flanking him were Chaosbreaker and Archer. In the room, six figures cloaked in black robes encircled Mathilda. She was completely naked, and held the boy close to her. Her face was flawlessly smooth, yet her eyes bespoke a flickering madness. Her lips were rosy red, yet her smile hinted at an inhuman viciousness. She held a dagger in her right hand, its tip tinged with red. There was a gash on the boy’s arm, blood oozing out slowly, dripping, dripping…

Archer fired an arrow as a surprise shot, but missed Mathilda. She quickly retreated to the back of the room, still holding the boy tight against her. Two of the figures broke away from the circle to shield her. The other four turned to face Beastmaster, Archer and Chaosbreaker. All were the same cloaked men with ugly faces that Torturer and Blender fought before.

Due to the door and tight space constraints, Torturer and Blender were still outside the room, and so couldn’t join the fight yet. What followed was a bloody battle. It was 4 ugly ninjas versus 3 Kai for the first round. Then Torturer and Blender joined in to take down the ninjas.

The moment Chaosbreaker broke off (haha, pun!) his engagement with his foe (he defeated the ninja), he took out his bow and let fly an arrow towards Mathilda. He was aiming at the dagger she held against the boy’s neck. I ruled a difficulty 7. He failed. But it would’ve been so awesome if he succeeded!

On hindsight, I could’ve allowed him to succeed in dislodging the dagger, but created some deadly consequence to happen to Chaosbreaker. Ah hindsight 20 20…

Then Torturer said, “Get Mathilda! Shoot through the boy! We’ve got healing! We can heal him back!”. Let’s hope people from the child services aren’t reading this…

Only 1 of the first wave of the 4 ninjas were left, engaged in combat with Blender and Torturer, but our Kai were having a tough time. Beastmaster was badly injured. Chaosbreaker already went after one of Mathilda’s shielding ninjas (who were of higher combat skills). With the last of his strength, Beastmaster took up his spear and threw it at Chaosbreaker’s opponent. Archer charged in to continue with a furious assault, and that shielding ninja dropped to the floor.

Mathilda shrieked, and let go of the boy. With astonishing agility, she sprinted towards the side window and broke through. A shatter of glass and she disappeared into the night.

Torturer and Beastmaster rushed to the boy’s side, calling upon their healing powers to flow into the boy. The bleeding on the arm stopped. Meanwhile, Blender and Archer finished off the rest of the ninjas. Chaosbreaker exited the house and tracked Mathilda. He lost her at the southern gates of Toran, a faint lingering trace that led further south, possibly fleeing back to the count’s estate.

“She fled the town naked all the way?” asked Chaosbreaker. I shrugged. It’s her business if she’s not wearing any clothes, right?

With that, we concluded the game session. I wasn’t sure if we could finish the plots I had planned in time, and it was a good spot to stop anyway. What’s going to happen next? What will happen to the boy? Who were the ugly ninjas? What was the ritual about? What will Occula do now? And will anyone see a beautiful naked woman running away?

Till next time…

The count asks for help – part 4

You might want to read part 1, part 2 and part 3 first.

Previously, our Kai adventurers obtained valuable information from stalking a librarian and seducing a barmaid. They cross-referenced the occurrences of the strange light incidents from the City Watch with the arrivals of Mathilda Gerrich in town. They did their CSI thing at the latest site of the ritual incident. And now, they’re going to do a stakeout high on the rooftops at the southern parts of Toran, where the incidents appeared to be concentrated…

The stakeout

While Archer continued to keep the barmaid busy back at the White Lion’s Inn, the rest of them took to the rooftops and positioned themselves above the streets. There were 4 of them, so they spread themselves out to cover as much of the area as possible. And there they waited…

Near midnight, during the blackest part of the night, a boy of no older than 12 appeared. He was dressed in rags. He kept to the shadows and crept towards the abandoned house, the latest site of the incidents. Our Kai gathered together and watched the house. Presently, the boy appeared again, holding in his arms some mouldy pieces of bread.

“That doesn’t make sense.” said Chaosbreaker.
“He’s hungry, ok? And you didn’t check the kitchen that thoroughly anyway.” I said.

The boy then moved towards another part of town. Beastmaster and Chaosbreaker went to join Archer at the inn. Torturer and Blender followed the boy. After tailing the boy for a while, they came to another seemingly abandoned house. The boy went in. Torturer and Blender were still deciding on what to do when a muffled cry came from the abandoned house.

“Oh *#$&, we have to move in now!” cried Torturer.

Are the others around? Nope, too far. Torturer and Blender were on their own.

The boy and the ugly ninjas

Dashing in, they saw the boy held by a man with the most hideous face they’ve seen. Well, it’s very ugly in any case, since I don’t know what they’ve seen. The man held one hand over the mouth of the boy, with the other hand holding the boy’s torso. He lifted him easily, and fled the house with the boy.

Between the fleeing man and our Kai, however, stood another 2 of the ugly man’s comrades. Dressed in black robes, with hoods covering their heads, they were just as ugly.

I ruled there was partial light, and imposed a -4CS penalty in combat instead of the full -8CS. And I made those black robed ninjas tough. Torturer and Blender had a hard time. Blender, the less skilled of the two, took out his lantern to illuminate the room, thereby removing the dark condition penalty. Both of them were seriously injured, with Torturer taking most of the damage.

The black robed attackers dissolved when defeated, adding a mystical feel to the experience. And also that they won’t be manhandled by Torturer…

They rejoined the others at the inn. Chaosbreaker took the lead and tracked the 3rd robed man to yet another abandoned house. (hey, I don’t need to create a lot of background for empty spaces…) The tracks were gradually disappearing, but they detected a faint sliver of malice floating in the air. They checked the house, and found the charred circle already on the floor. But no ritual appeared to have been performed. This was the next site! With nothing left to check, they left for the inn.

Mathilda arrives

The next morning, Beastmaster sought a woodcarver to create a carving of the mud idol using the picture he copied from the library. He failed the Test (it was a difficulty 3, an easy Test! I did not try to foil his attempts!). The woodcarver was scared from looking at the mud idol picture, and drove Beastmaster from his shop.

Meanwhile, Torturer was in poor shape. He asked to visit an apothecary to buy some potions of Laumspur. (My friends deliberately mispronounced the name of the healing potion so it sounded as the Chinese dialect, Hokkien pronounciation of the word “testicles”) Torturer also bought a vial of laxatives. You know, as a gift to Kai Master Stormsong.

“Stormsong probably have some high level healing ability, and won’t be sick.” said Beastmaster.
“Never mind, we can still dose his tea.” said Torturer.

Kai Master Stormsong is so in trouble…

Back to Beastmaster, when he was driven out by the woodcarver, he saw someone cloaked in black robes riding past him. Beside the robed figure was a man also on horseback. The head was shaved. Chaosbreaker started laughing.

“What?” I asked.
“Did you mean the man’s head was shaved? Or the horse?” laughed Chaosbreaker.

Oh come on! It’s hard enough being the DM…

They finally figured out that it’s Occula (the bald man, not the horse) and Mathilda. The pair rode unerringly to the White Lion’s Inn.

Beastmaster followed closely. He also changed out of his green Kai robes into some brown ones. (where did he get those? I decided not to ask…) When Occula and Mathilda were about to enter the inn, Beastmaster introduced himself.

“Kind sir, I am Friar Francis of the church of Saint Dildo the Demonslayer.” announced Beastmaster. Everyone collapsed into laughter. “Would you be so kind as to offer a donation to the poor?” continued “Friar Francis”.

Mathilda turned and went into the inn without a word. Occula looked at “Friar Francis” for a moment, and reached into his clothes. Taking out a gold crown, he deposited the coin into our good friar’s hands. Not wanting to waste the moment, Beastmaster pressed on. “Do you know anything about a mud idol?” asked Beastmaster.

Occula’s eyebrows shot up as far as they could. A gasp escaped from his lips. Clamping his hand over his mouth, he quickly turned to follow Mathilda.

Then Torturer said he wanted to buy some talcum powder.

Up next, a naked lady escapes.

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